What are Your HEART Goals? Part 4
Today, let’s spend some time on the R of HEART Goals, which stands for relational.
You might be thinking to yourself, “ Okay, Jenn, the other day, you said my goals were my goals and weren’t dependent upon what others are doing in order for me to achieve them. So, how is my goal relational?” Well, friend, it has to do with the type of goals we set and our motivation for achieving them. Therefore, let’s unpack some motivation theory. Don’t worry - I’m not a scientist so I won’t get too science-y.
In doing some research for the HEART goals concept, I reviewed goal orientation, and there are two main goal types that we as humans set for ourselves: mastery goals and performance goals. A great definition of these is found in this Stanford News article by Brooke Donald:
“Mastery goals focus on personal learning and improvement, while performance goals focus on demonstrating competence relative to others – trying to appear smart or avoid looking stupid, for example.”
In my research, most experts on goal achievement and motivation theory feel that while there is a place for both types of goals, mastery goals are more positively oriented from the standpoint of, as Donald writes, “seeking out challenges and a desire to learn.” On the other hand, performance goals typically find us comparing ourselves to others, which can have negative effects because our goal isn’t necessarily chiefly oriented toward our own growth, but about being better than someone else or not as bad as someone else.
I would say that HEART goals are most often mastery goals, as they are about our own learning and growth. If there is a performance goal side to them, it is competition with ourselves - to be better than we were before, and that is perfectly alright.
Here’s where I feel the relational part comes in. In working toward achieving goals and becoming better a better version of myself, I can’t help but be open to new perspectives, experiment with different ways of seeing and participating in the world, and expand my personal ecosystem. If I wanted to stay stuck in my same old thoughts and ways of being, I wouldn’t have set a HEART goal. The setting of and work toward achievement of my HEART goal means that from the perspective of Maslow’s hierarchy, I’m comfortable with those lower levels of basic physiological and safety needs and have moved into the higher levels psychological needs of belonging and esteem needs, which include relationship with others. Going back to the Barrett Model, I’m moving into an area of transformation and awareness more of the common good. I’m okay knowing that life isn’t just about me.
How does working toward and achieving your specific HEART goal define your relationship with yourself as well as with with those in your personal ecosystem. How does working on your HEART goal invite you to expand your personal ecosystem and participate in the world with others?
