The Work-Life Balance Unicorn
Work-Life Balance. This is a concept that I have tried to master for a long time. Probably just reading that sentence, you can rightly assume that I haven’t figured it out yet. I always kept strict work hours from 8 - 5, except when there was a doctor’s appointment, child issue, longer than normal lunch, you get the picture. When I was at home, I did homey/family things, except when I had to bring work home to meet a deadline, make up for that appointment, long lunch, etc. I was always the one that completely unplugged from work while on vacation, and urged my co-workers to do the same. I felt grateful to work with organizations that allowed me such flexibility and freedom.
But was it really?
Or, was it just a longer chain to keep me tethered to a job and my own conflicting senses of self-importance as well as unworthiness. Thoughts like, “They can’t do this without me. What would they do if I left?” morphed into, “How will we really be able to care for our family without the financial resources this job provides. I’m stuck.”
A few years ago, the concept of work-life balance was redefined for me, using a new term - work-life integration. The explanation being that we can never truly balance the scales of work and life, especially in our digital age of 24-7 connectivity. However, what I began to realize about this new term was that it really meant work comes first and you integrate everything else in your life into the space that’s left. This was not at all what I imagined, so I bucked against this definition, trying in vain to keep my two selves, work and life, separate.
Now we find ourselves in 2020 and I am still trying to blend the perfect mix of work and life. Now, however, I’m doing it as a business owner, certified coach, leadership consultant, instructional designer, and most importantly, wife, mother, and homeschool educator. Like you, I wear many hats, but I’ve made peace with this concept of work-life integration. “How? What’s the difference?”, you may be asking.
Perspective shift.
All of the hats I wear now are those to which I have purposefully chosen to say yes. These hats are all important for me because they are all an integral part of who I am and they excite and energize me with each new day. I’ve made peace with work and life because I no longer have to put in the energy to keep them separate. They are now in a healthy, symbiotic relationship with one another. The term I now use to describe this peaceful blend is not new.
It is my lifework.
I emphasize “my” because this is what works for me and my family. There is no more need for balance or integration because I have discovered, embraced, and am finally living out the purpose to which I have been created. Your lifework may look completely different from mine, and that is the way it should be. My lifework is helping others determine how to visualize and start living into theirs.
